“At times, all we have to do in life is show up, be present, and allow the magic to unfold.”      —Yitta Halbertam & Judith Leventhal

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This newsletter is sent to you by CoachBenita.. Copyright © 2008, Benita Stafford-Smith and CoachBenita. All rights reserved. Nothing in this newsletter may be reproduced or published without the written permission of the individual author and/or copyright owner.

The Coach Approach, February 2008

Theme: Being heart centered

Week One: Listening to Your Heart

I read an interesting article this week suggesting that hearts had memories, just like brains. Patients receiving heart transplants inherit memories from the hearts of their donors, emotional memories of the joys of love and painful memories of love lost.

What would be different if our hearts had memories and separate pathways, feeling pathways, just like our brains have thinking pathways?

I’ve often wondered why some people seem to get in and out of the same relationships, over and over again. The actual person they are in relationship with changes, but the type of person is the same. I see this with jobs/careers. Some people, no matter how much they say they dislike their current job or career, often leave and then take exactly the same job at a different company.

Are these folks perhaps relying on their heart memories, doing the same things over and over again?

I love the expression “following your heart”, perhaps this is truer than we have considered in the past.

Just like we need to change our habitual ways of thinking, do we need to change of typical way of relating/feeling?

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Week Two: Happy Valentine’s Day

Tomorrow is the day set aside to celebrate love. As a subscriber to Layne and Paul Cutright’s newsletter, I was delighted with the exercise below. What a wonderful way to celebrate love!

Write down the purpose and desired results for your partnership.
"A partnership without a stated purpose and intended results is like a ship setting sail without a chart or plotted course. The purpose should be stated in a way that lifts the spirit of all partners."—Layne and Paul Cutright    ( www.paulandlayne.com )

I invite you to look at your partnerships at home, at work and in your community. What is the purpose and desired results of these relationships? Does this purpose and the desired results lift the spirit of all partners? How? If not, what changes are required? When will you do this?

PS This is my favorite celebration. Today I encourage you to make someone’s day and contribute to the world’s love quotient!

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Week Three: Awareness!

"The more spiritually attuned you are, the more enlightened you and your partnerships will be."  —Layne and Paul Cutight

It all begins with you! To me, being spiritually attuned directly translates to the capacity to love yourself. The more you love yourself, the more fulfilling your relationships will be. So often we think love comes from outside of us. If we cannot love ourselves, why do we think others will love us?

Do you know someone who is bright, capable and wonderful to be around? They are a delight to be around and you always feel good in their presence. Do you know someone who is bright, capable and wonderful, but they don’t know or they don’t accept this for themselves? This can be frustrating. I can see their brilliance yet it is as if they are hiding from it. Are you hiding in any way from your brilliance? What would be different in your life if you were not hiding from your brilliance? How would this affect those around you?

I believe that as we grow and evolve spiritually we invite others to come with us. As we begin to own our brilliance, we invite others to this acceptance of their brilliance.

Perhaps now, some of you are resisting the thought of brilliance. It is there, whether you accept it or not. If you are not sure what your brilliance is, your unique gift that you bring to the world, perhaps it is time to begin exploring!

Watch for my new book to be released in 2008, Now to WOW.

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Week Four: Anti-Complaining Campaign

“Many people spend whole lifetimes complaining, most of the high achievers I know divert the energy of frustration away from complaint and into success.”   —Martha Beck

Martha Beck invites us to launch an Anti-Complaining Campaign—no complaining aloud to anybody for a full week or perhaps a full month. She warns us that our lives may change substantially.

“After a few whine-free days, you'll find that it also requires courage—possibly more than you've ever used.” Martha Beck

It takes a lot of courage to stop complaining. When we stop complaining what is left? I suggest, what is left is the, courageous choice, taking action instead of just complaining. When we take action instead of complaining things will change, often in big ways.

For the final week of February I invite you to launch an Anti-Complaining Campaign for yourself, at your workplace, in your family, in your community.

For many of us, taking a step to a complaint free workplace, is like a dream come true. Many workplaces are overrun with complaining.

What about your families? What if there was no complaining in your family for a week or a month? WOW!

You cannot stop others from complaining but you can let them know you are on an Anti-Complaining Campaign for a week. You will not be complaining (even if you have to bite your lip) for one week and you will not be listening to their complaints.

Imagine all the energy you can now use to achieve your goals and dreams!

Have a wonderful Complaint free week!

For more information on the Anti-Complaint Campaign, you can read Martha Beck’s full article in the Oprah magazine, October, 2007.

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