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"A sense of humor can help you overlook
the unattractive, tolerate the unpleasant, cope with the unexpected,
and smile through the unbearable." Coaching Services Books by Benita Workbooks and CDs Keynotes and Workshops * * * * * This newsletter is sent to you by Life Matters Coaching. Copyright © 2006, Benita Stafford-Smith and Life Matters Coaching. All rights reserved. Nothing in this newsletter may be reproduced or published without the written permission of the individual author and/or copyright owner. |
The Coach Approach Magical Moments, Playfulness and Stories Remember recess, remember your first love, and remember the excitement of your first "real" job? Playfulness has been a theme for me for the last few months. I am reminded how easily children play-no planning, no agendas just spontaneous playing. I find it interesting that as we journey further along the path called adulthood we become less playful and we laugh less. I stopped for lunch today at food court. At a table across from
me was a young couple in love. They were sitting close to each
other, both faces alit, smiling from ear to ear and soft tender
giggles were abundant. This lead me to further observe the occupants
of the food court and the people walking by. There was a distinct
lack of love, laughter and lightness evident on the majority
of the faces I observed. Storytelling is an activity that can lead us instantly to playfulness, laughter and lightness. Families have amazing stories. One of my uncles, Uncle Russ, is a very gifted storyteller. Whenever Uncle Russ is at a family gathering there will be a circle of us gathered around to listen to his wonderful stories about our ancestors and the adventures of an era we'll never experience except through his stories. Businesses have stories, cultures have stories, and nations have stories. In Canada our aboriginal peoples continue to pass on their history through stories. Often at the local library or meeting place, storytellers from different cultures and countries gather to offer us a glimpse into a different world. These storytellers create Magical Moments for us; moments where we can leave behind the harsh reality of today and escape to a world created just for us in that moment. Ah, it is magical! Here are four tips to connect to playfulness, laughter and
lightness: 2. Adopt an attitude of playfulness a few minutes each day and enjoy the resulting lightness and laughter that follows. 3. Enjoy the innocence of the children in your life. Notice how easily they smile and laugh. See if you can catch some of their easy joy. 4. Share your stories of hope, courage and everyday miracles with others. Together let's counter the continuous barrage of bad news stories that assault us each day. "We do not stop playing because we are old, we are old because we've stopped playing." George Bernard Shaw I'd love to hear from you! How do you connect to playfulness, laughter and lightness? What are the magical moments in your life? E-mail me at benita@lifematterscoaching.com * * * * * Week Two: Magical Moments Begin by spending a few moments recalling the Magical Moments in your life. Savor the time spent in revisiting these moments. How does it feel? What are the sounds? Smells? What do you see? Who else is there with you? For me many Magical Moments occur in the garden and outdoors in nature. Often, I'll be in the garden puttering and suddenly before me is a new bloom I have been waiting for. I will stand back in awe of the beauty, the color, the smell, the excitement of its arrival! I remember a Magical Moment on a kayak trip last year. We had paddled down to a breathtaking waterfall and stopped on a huge rock to enjoy some lunch. Further down the shoreline we could see a photographer with his camera set up, ready to shoot. The photographer had stopped for lunch also. A fox came strolling down the trail in no particular hurry, stopped and watched the photographer making his lunch, almost taunting him! We began waving frantically to the photographer pointing down the trail. Finally he saw the fox. By this time the fox was laying down on the path for a short sunbathe. The fox was not disturbed that his picture was being taken; in fact, he seemed to be posing for the picture! Of course this only lasted a moment but at times like this, time does seem to stand still. For readers with children, grandchildren or pets, magical moments are abundant. Do you stop long enough each day to enjoy the magical moments? We have the opportunity each and every day to create new Magical Moments. What stops us? What are we waiting for? Think about the creation of a Magical Moment, what does it take to make a moment magical to you? Here's a magical moment sent in by one of my readers: "Last week-end was my daughter Sue's 38th birthday and we did an overnight special at a hotel. When we arrived at the desk my daughter was really excited as this a first overnight without the two kids and no husband... Plus she had just received news of a great new challenging full-time job for April. The clerks at the counter had to have heard us laughing and
our conversation because not long after we got into the nice
big room with two queen size beds, the doorbell rang. They handed
Sue a card congratulating her for her new job and her birthday
with two complimentary breakfasts for the next day. Wow... Then
I had asked for something special when we arrived in the room...
two chocolate martinis.... Then supper at a nearby restaurant.
Then entertainment, jazz-wise by Larry Roy. Surprise! He is from
my home town. Next day, of course the breakfast; superb. Then
a visit at the Spa for two pedicures. Finishing the day by shopping. I am very fortunate to have this one daughter, and that my husband Bill was able to look after her two children as her husband was working late and early Saturday. NOW THAT WAS MAGIC... I thank God that I have my own business and keep working at this business so I can permit some extra expenses like this one. We promised we would do this again next year." We would be pleased to publish your Magical Moments, simply email your Magical Moment to benita@lifematterscoaching.com. * * * * * Week Three: Playfulness It is interesting to me that we have little time left in our busy days for play! As I mentioned in my earlier Coach Approach, notice how children play easily and naturally—no agenda, no plan, just spontaneous playing. As adults we tend to schedule our playtime if we have time (if we have time being the key phrase here). How do we recapture playfulness? In his article "Are We Having Fun Yet? The Benefits of Play" Mark Harris writes: I remember when Lillian was four years old, I once watched her and a friend named Krissy play with a set of dolls and a large wooden doll house. Their play consisted of each of them alternately introducing a theme, such as, "Pretend we're baking a pie for your brother's birthday, but he hasn't come home yet and I'm the mother and I'm worried." A few minutes of this scenario would follow, eventually to be punctuated by the two words that signaled time for a change, "Pretend that..." and after some tussle negotiating the details, they'd be off on a new scenario of fun and fantasy. What struck me as I watched these young girls was how thoroughly engaged they were. And how I envied them. If, as it is said, children think heaven is being an adult and adults think heaven is being a child, then in that moment their world seemed like heaven to me. The way they played was so natural, so complete. So content. I say, let's pretend we've created a world where we all work reasonable schedules with plenty of time to laugh and play and just enjoy each other. Let's pretend we've let go of our worries about money and power or whatever we think we want that we don't have. Let's pretend we've created a less strife-torn, conflicted world, one in which we've learned to relax more and mistreat each other less. I say, let's pretend, rediscover what any child knows about the truth of living in the moment. And how wonderful it is to be fully human, fully alive. Who knows? If we play it for all it's worth, we might just make it happen." Are you having fun yet? List five ways you play (Let's
Pretend) * * * * * Week Four: Storytelling Stories entertain us; help us to grow, to heal and to understand the world around us according to Andy Fraenkel of SacredVoices.com. Stories move us from head to heart and connect us with others. Stories are for the old and the young, the rich and the poor, the educated and the not so educated. Stories bring us together. Families have stories. I grew up listening to stories from my parents and relatives. These stories connected me with family members no longer living and served as an introduction for the next generation to the values and traditions of our family. I am blessed with a lineage of amazing storytellers. These men and women are able to make the past come alive and take us on adventures as if they were happening right this very moment. Cities have wonderful stories to tell. The next time you're visiting a city take a few minutes to venture over to the local library or bookstore and uncover some of the adventures and tales of the city you're in. Take some time to uncover the stories of the city you live in. I have spent a considerable amount of time researching the history of Winnipeg and uncovered many delightful stories. I am especially enamored by the Winnie the Pooh story. If you don't know this story, go to www.just-pooh.com/history.html. I remember a university literature class that opened my eyes to the power of stories. This was a troublesome class. Our first professor left unexpectedly two months into the coursework. He was replaced for a brief period of time with a tenure professor who was a published writer and a very flamboyant character. He taught us through stories. T.S. Elliott came alive in this class, it was as if Elliott was there talking to us. This professor had a way with words and weaved stories into his lectures that left even the most skeptical student spellbound. We were blessed with this professor for only a short time. Our next professor was a very good teacher but not a storyteller. The classes seemed paltry and flavorless in comparison. Sharing stories is a safe and fun way to experience the world, past, present and future. The President of the Academy of Motion Picture and Sound at this year's Academy Awards stated that movies bring strangers together by the story they are watching. Is Hollywood our modern day storyteller? Is this good news? What stories inspire you? What stories entertain you? How do you build storytelling into your days? One of my favorite memories today is reading my son stories at bedtime List three ways stories have impacted your life. List five ways you enjoy stories and/or storytelling today. If you have stories you'd like to share, email me at benita@lifematterscoaching.com. * * * * * Week Five: Laughter Laughter really is the best medicine! Laughter helps us relieve stress, chases away the blues, heals us and can turn around potentially bad situations by reminding us there is always another way to look at things. Children laugh 300 to 400 times a day. Adults laugh approximately 15 times a day. How do you get more laughter in your life? 1. Join a Laughter club. Go to www.laughteryoga.org to
find a Laughter Club near you. List the ways you get laughter in your life. Like to share a laugh with other readers? Email me benita@lifematterscoaching.com. |
