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"Great minds have purposes, other have wishes." Coaching Services Books by Benita Workbooks and CDs Keynotes and Workshops Benita is pleased to announce the launch of her new website! Please visit LifeMattersCoaching.com to view the updates and new look! * * * * * This newsletter is sent to you by Life Matters Coaching. Copyright © 2006, Benita Stafford-Smith and Life Matters Coaching. All rights reserved. Nothing in this newsletter may be reproduced or published without the written permission of the individual author and/or copyright owner. |
The Coach Approach Challenges, Maintaining a Positive Attitude, Having a Vision, Committing to the Vision, Optimism This month's theme is overcoming challenges. Week One Challenges Dictionary.com defines a challenge as a test of one's abilities or resources in a demanding but stimulating undertaking. In my workshop Six Steps to a Successful Attitude I
begin with the following story: Highly successful people look for solutions. They are option thinkers. No matter how tough the problem, how great the odds, the options thinker always believes there is a solution. They keep trying, experimenting, and looking. Eventually one of their efforts bears fruit. When you are presented with a thorny problem, how do you respond? When you have been dealt a serious blow by life, what do you tell yourself? When we have a negative attitude we feel powerless, we feel we have no control of our life and are helpless victims. There is no hope. Life is hard. We are unhappy, critical of ourselves and others. Success is hard and a long battle. We tend to see the bad or negative in every situation. When we have to do something unpleasant - how do we see the world? When we have a positive attitude we feel empowered, we feel we have control of our life circumstances and the ability to change what we don't like. Life is easier. We feel lighter, happier and are less critical of others. We tend to see the positive or good in circumstances. When faced with challenges which attitude serves you best? Next week we'll look at ways to maintain a positive attitude. Your tips, techniques and comments are always welcome. * * * * * Week Two Maintaining a Positive Attitude To maintain a positive attitude you must choose your sources of motivation and energy carefully Use the chart below to track what fuels you.. Color in the chart from left to right as you shift your source of fuel. Nothing is wrong with the items on the left; they do motivate a person—however, at considerable cost. It takes practice, discussion with your coach, learning new distinctions and seeing the early stages of the shift to continue in this game-and make sure you treat it that way; this is not a should, it's an opportunity! FOOLS YOU START >>> ACHIEVE
FUELS YOU Anger, Revenge, Judging | | | | | | Pure Compassion for Others Take, Win, Prove | | | | | | True, Simple Feelings Keeping Things the Same | | | | | | Surrendering to the Flow Chasing Unmet Needs | | | | | | Responsibly Fill One's Cup Drama, Crises, Intrigue | | | | | | Peace, Boredom & Freedom Compulsions & Addictions | | | | | | Choice Self-Criticism & Self-Blaming | | | | | | Granting Full Forgiveness Unhealed past Traumas/Events | | | | | | Awareness & Healing Tripping Over Unresolved matters | | | | | | Restoring 100% Integrity Shoulds, Coulds, Have-tos | | | | | | Wants & Desires Managing Other's Impressions | | | | | | Honoring Own Standards Avoiding Consequence | | | | | | Building Trust With Others Catching Up, Adrenaline | | | | | | Building Reserve: Time & $$ Resignation, Reacting | | | | | | Dedication, Have a Vision Searching, Looking | | | | | | Enjoy Beauty Pleasing Others | | | | | | Serving One's Self * * * * * Week Three Having a Vision It is much easier to overcome challenges when we have a vision. Most companies have a vision statement. Over the next three weeks I will provide tools to help you develop a personal vision statement for you life. Vision Statements Powerful vision statements have the following characteristics: What else would you add to the list of characteristics of powerful
vision
What is your vision? Write it in the space below.
Claiming Your Vision What are the tools which will support the realization of your vision?
What actions will enable you to "live your vision" every day? * * * * * Week Four Committing to the Vision: A Self-Assessment Use the following self-assessment items to learn how committed you are to your vision. 5 Strongly Agree 1.) I am proud of the vision I have created. 5 4 3 2 1 2.) There's nothing I'd rather do than the work of realizing my vision. 5 4 3 2 1 3.) I feel inspired and ready to engage my full self in the realization of my vision. 5 4 3 2 1 4.) I feel a deep personal, even emotional, connection to the vision I have created. 5 4 3 2 1 5.) I think about the impact that I can have on others' work and lives more than about what I can gain. 5 4 3 2 1 6.) I will not hesitate to give extra effort or make sacrifices
for the realization of my vision. 7.) My vision will enable me to do what I do best and care about the most. 5 4 3 2 1 8.) I can develop my personal strengths by realizing my vision. 5 4 3 2 1 9.) I feel the creative tension between my vision and the present state, and it energizes me. 5 4 3 2 1 10.) I have sustainable passion for realizing my vision. 5 4 3 2 1 11.) I believe others trust my good intentions. 5 4 3 2 1 12.) I won't let my moods or everyday stress keep me from the work of realizing my vision. 5 4 3 2 1 13.) I am willing to risk making a mistake in the work I do- that's how important it is to me. 5 4 3 2 1 14.) I won't let personal obstacles keep me from realizing my vision. 5 4 3 2 1 15.) I intend to focus on the work of realizing my vision for the long term. 5 4 3 2 1 16.) I am eager to attract others who share my vision to be a part of my community of practice. 5 4 3 2 1 17.) My vision cannot be obscured by a volatile, unpredictable business environment. 5 4 3 2 1 18.) I am eager to develop new skills and methods I can employ in the realization of my vision. 5 4 3 2 1 19.) My work challenges and energizes me. 5 4 3 2 1 20.)s The symbolic meaning of my vision enriches me. 5 4 3 2 1 Making the Most of the Commitment Assessment Commitment can be defined as the full engagement of ourselves in the pursuit of our noblest aspirations. Commitment is deeply personal, emotional, and spiritual. Unlike the light switch, however, which can be turned on or off, commitment is more like the water faucet with its gradations of hot and cold. Commitment can waver, it can intensify, and it can cool off for a variety of reasons. The practice of excellence is an individual who embraces sustainable commitment-a focus on the long term. As you look at the commitment self-assessment, highlight the areas in which your scores were three or less. What patterns do you notice? Are you more unsure than you are definite? What would help you get more clarity? If your commitment is low, what's getting in the way of your scores being higher? Now look at your overall score. If your commitment is high, what will be needed to sustain it? Commitment is sustainable when you have both the methods and resources to achieve your noblest aspirations. The practices of excellence person uses the methods of his or her craft as well as resources gleaned from one's life and work experience and from his or her professional community practice. Commitment exists within the context of a powerful vision which can be shared with others and which invokes reciprocal actions. In other words, commitment is sustainable only when there is a way to create a shared vision through connection with others, and through that connection, foster the willingness of others to engage in reciprocal actions. You don't achieve greatness alone, and the realization of a powerful vision can happen only if those who will be impacted participate in its full realization. * * * * * Week Five Optimism Over the past month we have looked at your attitude and your vision as tools to overcome challenges. A positive attitude and having a compelling vision are gifts you can give yourself. Both invite you to optimism. "An optimist is the human personification of spring." - Susan J. Bissonette What is the difference between a positive attitude and optimism? A person with a positive attitude may be standing in a pile of garbage and will say, It's OK, it's not really garbage, let's look on the positive side. Notice there is no action here. Sometimes maintaining a positive attitude can be very difficult. Sometimes we encounter challenge after challenge making it very difficult to have a positive attitude. Sometimes maintaining a positive attitude is actually counter productive, denying reality rather than dealing with the issues in front of us. A person who is an optimist will be standing in a pile of garbage and will say, yes, today I am standing in a pile of garbage but I will move a bit of the garbage each day until I have it cleared. Optimism on the other hand can help us to overcome challenges. We acknowledge the issues and look for options and solutions. This far surpasses a positive attitude by inviting us to action. An optimist combines intent and action to overcome life's adversities. One of my favorite coaching concepts is becoming a problem free zone. This is very different than being an expert problem solver. An expert problem solver is always attracting problems to solve. Let's step up to the plate, adopt optimism and become problem
free zones.
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