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“Emotional mastery is the ability to recognize what
you are feeling, to allow it without judgment, and to express
it appropriately.” * * * * * This newsletter is sent to you byCoachBenita.. Copyright © 2007, Benita Stafford-Smith and CoachBenita. All rights reserved. Nothing in this newsletter may be reproduced or published without the written permission of the individual author and/or copyright owner. |
The Coach Approach, September 2007 Week One: Emotional Mastery “I’ve hit the wall once again!” This month’s focus will be on getting past those dark dreary days. I’m not talking about the crises, the big disappointments, which come along every once in awhile. Just those times when you wonder what you are doing? And why? Is it worthwhile getting out of bed today? What is the point of being alive? We all hit these times. I believe they are exciting, even though in the midst of them exciting is the least likely word we would use. These doldrums invite us to a period of introspection. In my experience they are often a prelude to some changes coming and I consider this time my preparation time. I often do not know what the changes are. So how do we just get through these times? With dignity? I invite you to sit comfortably with these darker days. These days shall pass just like everything else does. While you are sitting comfortably, consider spending some time asking yourself: What you are being called to? What needs to change in your life and/or your work? Is there another step you are about to embark on? Do you need to change some habits to adjust to this new level in your life and/or work? Sitting in contemplation, asking questions and then waiting for answers to come. You can try and force the answers but I generally find this simply leads to frustration. The sitting, asking and waiting are required to germinate the new growth waiting to come forth. * * * * * Week Two: Vision “I’ve hit the wall once again!” Last week’s message on getting past the wall was – sitting in contemplation, asking questions and waiting for the answers to come. This week’s message on getting past the wall is – have a personal vision statement. "There are powers inside of you which, if you could discover and use, would make of you everything you ever dreamed or imagined you could become." —Orison Swett Marden A vision statement is a purpose statement. Why are you here on this earth, at this time? What will you do in your lifetime? What do you want to be able to say at the end of your career/life? A vision statement charts the course. It is the result we are trying to get to. A vision statement is inspiring and invites us to participate in the bigger game. It takes time to craft a vision statement so enjoy the process. Start with your best guess and then let it sit for a couple of weeks. Repeat it to yourself over these weeks to see if it actually is inspiring. This is not a detailed statement but an overview statement. When you have the final statement make sure you post in where you can see it every day. Your vision statement will offer inspiration and meaning! My vision statement is to contribute to human evolution. So when the doldrums come, as they inevitably do, I take solace in my vision and am a lot more patient with time. After all, I know why I get out of bed every morning and it is exciting! * * * * * Week Three: Just Putting One Foot in Front of the Other “I’ve hit the wall once again!” Our first two ways to get past the hard times: And today, we’ll add – just put one foot in front of the other! I have been reading the book – E Myth Mastery by Michael Gerber, The Seven Essential Disciplines for Building a World Class Company. If you are in business or are contemplating a business please read his book, E Myth Revisited, it is a must. Here is an interesting piece from the forward of E Myth Mastery: “For whatever reason, and I find it hard to explain, I have seen in my life that there’s some part of me that’s also been sufficiently available. Even when I felt like the walking dead. When the fire had all but died out, almost to the point of being completely extinguished, and my body and spirit were dry, dry, dry. When the absence of my own spark, my own sizzle, brought a lassitude, a dread, and a sallow, soul-sucking clump of hopelessness. Somehow, when I’m available to the miracles, to catch the fire when it inevitably returns, everything changes. None of this, not the miracles or the fire, are of my own doing.” For me, success, forward movement, improvement has been about being open enough or available to receive a sufficient number of the blessings or miracles that have naturally come my way. That’s when the fire returns. And then it’s my job, I need to act.” Earlier in the book he states “…when I’m are not open, not available and not willing to let go and jump – nothing will happen except more of the same. The insufferably walking dead, shuffle, shuffle, shuffle, in a small, airless closet we call Life.” Pretty powerful statements! So when we hit the wall, let’s just put one foot in front of the other, keep going, even when it seems hopeless, just keep going. And be ready for the fire, it’s coming! * * * * * Week Four: Routine and Discipline “I’ve hit the wall once again!” "If you're never scared or embarrassed or hurt, it means you never take any chances." —Julia Sorel How do we just get through these times with dignity? - Sit in contemplation, ask questions and wait for the answers
to come. My final thought on this - routine and self-discipline! By now, in my life, I’ve established some good habits that I can rely on when the tough times come. I call it extreme self-care—feeding myself very very well; emotionally, spiritually, mentally and physically. Exercise, contemplation, journaling, positive self-talk, reading uplifting and thought provoking material and listening to uplifting music and talks. Even though it is the last thing I want to do, hitting the yoga mat in the morning and before going to bed are critical in these times. This habit keeps me grounded and able to continue to put one foot in front of the other. Having a nourishing rising and retiring routine is essential. A time to be grateful for what I have and leave behind all the nonsense about what I do not have or what I have not accomplished. A time to practice my spiritual path with renewed conviction. Sometimes this just has to be rote for me, I just do it even if I have to force myself to. I would rather just curl up in a ball and die but the discipline to continue on with my practices is essential. This allows me to be open and available when the fire is reignited and to catch the miracles that are on their way. One last thought about hitting the wall and getting past it. This is an important time to listen to my inner voice and keep following those nudges. Sometimes that means spending a day by myself in reflection. It is often difficult to take this time but I always find that it is critical in getting through the “walking dead” days. Hopefully you too will see how these times can be considered very exciting! * * * * * Want to get published? Share your stories? Please email me at stories@coachbenita.com and I will publish your stories! |
